Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
