I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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