Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
