Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
