Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
