I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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