Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
