soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
