she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Semen is not good for contacts.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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