I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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