you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
