would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
