I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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