yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
