Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
