Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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