we're blogging at a bar
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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