found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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