That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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