Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
