she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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