zippers are such a cool invention
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
