I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drake has all the answers
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
