Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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