he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
