office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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