Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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