dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
