Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
