I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
