Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
