he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
