Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
