Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
