Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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