i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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