It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
