The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
