I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
