at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
