it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
