strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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