Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
