yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
