Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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