Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
