just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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