Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
