i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just pee around me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
