I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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